Some people just induce self-consciousness. It could be your boss, it could be someone you bump into, it could be an old friend.
But at least for me, it’s a crippling feeling. Their prescence immediatelly makes you considering how you are acting, are you being strange? I normally am, so I start trying to act normal. The fact is though, I’m not very normal, I don’t particularly know HOW to be normal. So my attempts at normality tend to come out as even stranger than my usual behaviour.
These people also make me conscious of everything I do, as in like, produce. Cooking and baking especially, as well as any doodles or sketches that might be lying around at the time. Because you see, all these things are up to my standards. I might make some pancakes or something, and they most likely will have at least one kitty hair involved. (Please refer here if you don’t understand this law). That’s just something you get used to and you cope with when you’ve got three gorgeous long haired kitties. The problem is when you start giving food to people who aren’t from your household or don’t know the kitties and how wonderful they are that they’re WORTH the kitty hair in the pancake, then it’s not up to THEIR standards. It’s even worse when the person recieving the food is one of the ones who makes you incredibly self-conscious.
I’ve stopped feeding those people.
The thing is generally these people make me feel self-conscious because they’re people I look up to and want to impress. And I’m not going to get anywhere if I just simply stop dealing with them because of I’m too nervous. It’s a big deal to get past the “but it’ll make me look stupid” stage and just cope. I’m still working on it. To be honest I only just realised I’m doing it. Are you doing it too?
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